The best parenting advice I've received!

Summer of 2017

For those of you who are not parents and yet reading this post, I'm glad you took the initiative to click on the link to my blog and find out what's in it. And for the other category called "parents" to which I most certainly now belong, we all know that parenting can be a tricky and a tough job. What I'm about to share further is worth a read, parents or non parents. 

A week back, I woke up to a screen shot image of an article sent to me by my elder brother on whats app. The article threw some light upon parenting today as against the kind of parenting we received while growing up. 

It was so relatable that I couldn't resist sharing it here on the blog. Whether or not we agree/follow what it has to offer is a matter of personal choice. All I can say is its definitely worth a read and some food for thought.

The article is by John Rosemomd, who's a renowned family psychologist. Here's his piece of advice:

I recently asked a married couple who have three kids, none of whom are yet teens, "Who are the most important people in your family?"

Like all good moms and dads of this brave millennium, they answered, "Our kids!"

"Why?" I then asked. "What is it about your kids that gives them that status?"

And like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they couldn't answer the question other than to fumble with appeals of emotion. 

So, I answered the question for them: "There is no reasonable thing that that  gives your children that status."

I went on to point out that many if not most of the problems they're having with their kids - typical stuff, these days - are the result of treating their children as if they, their marriage, and their family exist because of the kids when it is, in fact, the other way around. Their kids exist because of them and their marriage and thrive because they have created a stable family. 

Furthermore, without them, their kids wouldn't eat well, have the nice clothing they wear, live in the nice home in which they live, enjoy the great vacations they enjoy, and so on. 

This issue is  really the heart of the matter. People my age know it's the heart of the matter because when we were kids it was clear to us that our parents were the most important people in our families. And that, right there, is why we respected our parents and that, right there, is why we looked up to adults in general. Yes, Virginia, once upon a time in theUnited States Of America, children were second-class citizens, to their advantage.

It was clear to us - I speak, of course, in general terms, albeit accurate - that our parents marriages were more important to them than their relationships with us. Therefore, we did not sleep in their beds or interrupt their conversations. The family meal, at home, was regarded as more important than after school activities. Mom and Dad talked more - a lot more - with one another than they talked to you. For lack of pedestals, we emancipated earlier and much more successfully than have children since. 

The most important person in an army is the general. The most important person in a corporation is the CEO. The most important person in a classroom is the teacher. And the most important person in a family are the parents.

"Our child is the most important in our family" is the first step towards raising a child who feels entitled.

You don't want that. Unbeknownst to your child, he doesn't need that. And neither does America.

You can email any questions to John Rosemond at questions@rosemond.com. To find out more about him visit his website here